Sunflowers Chapter 3

Sunflowers Chapter 3

They gave me special glasses and a wheelchair and I broke both

She said, this is your medical aid and  left

me with this person I didn't

know   and

                    he pushed me to a group of children

surrounding an emotional
scent I breathe in
and think of growing
green spirals in the sky

on the table there are piles
of brown and green stems
producing thin whisps
along the edges

twisting like thin
coiled ropes  I

T his is Hanna she

can’t vocalis

e either

  he tries to turn me
to face the girl making
words with her hands

thin ropes on the table
children stripping off the skin
there's not much flesh but

Do you
know any form
of sign language?

Do you
know what She

do you

kn o w

no n    o

screaming brightness tears
right through me
and I                                                                            It’s not just the hurt it’s that my body keeps pushing back at me. like when i

tried to put food in my mouth andthen i'm spitting it out again.

“… ridiculous, there’s not going to be any nutrients left …”

“Shh, we’re barely out of …”

“They know what I think.”

“You don’t need to keep yelling about it.”

“I think I do.”

we're almost out of food but the land is stripped down and dying they say we need to give it time, the soil needs to rest but
in the meantime we are dying

“We have a shadow.”

“It’s just the village idiot.”

“Shh.”

“She doesn’t understand, see?”

Small movements, small steps. I can’t   reach for the nearest one and scratch it with my fingernails without lifting my head. She leans over and positions my hand differently, nails still caught in its skin, and then she drags my hand down and a long strip pulls away. I sit up and she moves my hand, again dragging a long strip of skin and leaves away, letting it fall to the floor.    

“The toxicity is relatively low, but we’ll need to rebuild the soil profile.”

“They want us to focus on the crops.”

“The crops are doomed. So is the town.”

“Bella …”

“They have no capacity for self-control.”

“They’re dying.”

“Good.”

“Bella!”

“What? We need fertiliser."  

                                             we need meat

   

crash

“why did you do that?” she is
bandaging my arm “do you
want to tell me
write it down”

she hands me a tablet I type
slowly wit h one finger
she looks at it and
breaths deep

we can't give her another chair if she acts like that i will take personal responsibility she can't just lie in the room by herself we tried getting her involved we can't have the children exposed to violent outbursts she didn't hurt anyone except her
self

Rana ties cloth around my eyes
she says you'll get used to the
sun


                      I will
be your tour guide
she picks me up and
from over her shoulder  
through the fabric

the dappled light and
pale walls are transmuted
shades and angles forming
a new home

I try to say I'm sorry
but my voice comes out
garbled and incoherent
she places me back on the ground
and sits beside me

"do you want to go out?"

I nod and she
takes my shaking hands in hers
and says

how lovely, I haven't
been out of the lab in
weeks